Ketchup

It's been REALLY busy. The holidays. A cold. A book that just won't STOP because the final action scene is unbelievably AWESOME.

I wasn't going to post about this, but, at the encouragement of my ever-curious buddy Lou Anders, here we go. Following is my email to Lou. I'll try to get around to posting the photos mentioned within tomorrow? Gotta work. More soon!


Hey, Lou, here's an interesting twist. You know not all of the critics and bloggers were thumbs-up about Plague Year -- in fact, there was one memorable rant declaring it a “steaming pile of liberal propaganda,” which is obvious, I guess, since one hero is Latino and another is Jewish -- but, for the most part, reaction was positive. Plague Year is in its third printing. It's sold film rights, audio rights, and major foreign deals.

(Yeah, I’m feeling defensive.)

It’s a brutal book, though, with something to offend everyone. Sex. Violence. Non-white people. You name it.

I’ve always wondered where the hate mail was. Plenty of people have written nasty or at least unenthusiastic things about the book. That's what the net is for, right? But it was never aimed directly at me. Yesterday that email finally showed up.


Dear Jeff:

Regarding your novel Plague Year I was not incredibly impressed. The concept was interesting, however, it was written in a grocery store thriller style. However, as you can see in the attached files, our canine review team thoroughly enjoyed your book. Thank your for the trial copy, and we regret that we will not be able to send it back to you.


You gotta like the informal, size-me-down greeting, the pompous howevers, and the regal use of “we.” Also the “thank your.”

There were two attachments. I didn’t open them, because that just seemed safe, but I assume they were playing fetch with the book or, you know, maybe it had been artfully arranged alongside a nice long dog turd or something.

Three things make me curious.

First, I can account for all of the review copies I mailed out, and this lady wasn’t one of the recipients. The folks at Ace were good about sending review copies to almost anyone who asked, but I can’t imagine that even a self-proclaimed, self-important “book critic” would act this petty. So I have to think this business about a trial copy (?) is pretentious, delusional, or at least oddly-worded. She means she won’t buy any more? Golly.

Second, of course, the big joke is that having my books carried by drug and grocery stores is EXACTLY my goal. “Grocery store thriller style” is high praise. I picture this person as a frustrated would-be Author Of Deep Literature, but, if so, why was she reading Plague Year to begin with? No one would mistake the burning white cover as belonging to profound fiction. For Pete’s sake, the tagline is “The next breath you take will kill you.” It’s entertainment.

Third, why go to such effort in the first place? I don’t think I know this person, so why get personal?

How about some perspective, man? ;>


...to which Lou replied "I say you post the pictures on your website. I wish my detractors were so creative. Dude, you should be proud!"

Hee hee.

Labels: fan mail, hate mail, PLAGUE YEAR, the writing life