Ketchup

It turns out that the book I've been writing isn't called MIND PLAGUE after all. In fact, I've never written a book that was called what I thought it was called.

PLAGUE YEAR, as you know, began as THE INVISIBLE SEA. It briefly became THE ARCHOS PLAGUE and then DEATHLINE before my editor and the marketing folks at Ace struck on PLAGUE YEAR, which, in the end, is the perfect title.

They wanted to call the second book WAR YEAR but I said, hey, the first book actually covers a span of thirteen months. PLAGUE YEAR makes sense. The second book only covers a few weeks. WAR YEAR is nonsensical. Plus there's one big especially scary afternoon in the story. How about WAR DAY? I said. No, how about PLAGUE WAR? they said.

Meanwhile, I'd originally conceived of the third book as FINAL HOUR. What a lovely countdown that would have been. PLAGUE YEAR. WAR DAY. FINAL HOUR. Maybe it's a bit too cerebral, but, wow, they'd look *great* together on a shelf.

Alas, once we changed the second title, the countdown was out. Also, it's wise indeed to run with a key word. PLAGUE THIS. PLAGUE THAT. I've been thinking MIND PLAGUE all this time. Instead, welcome to PLAGUE ZONE.

It does make for a catchy threesome. YEAR. WAR. ZONE.

Be afraid. :)

Labels: titles and the writing life

Nearly done with a final polish of MIND PLAGUE, I decided to change a spearcarrier's name from Ted to Jake because I also had a Tony and a Trish and that's too many T names. Normally I'd just do this manually throughout the ms., because I'm a caveman and I hate MS Word, which thinks it's smarter than you and constantly tries to enforce any number of "time savers" and mandatory formattings. Boy, do I miss WordPerfect, which was like using a typewriter, pure and easy. Alas, Microsoft rules the world. For conformity's sake I need to submit my manuscripts in MS Word, so I use it exclusively now.

I thought I'd be all non-caveman and use the Find function to swap out every "Ted" with "Jake." Think of how much I could accomplish with the minutes I'd saved! Heck, I might invent cold fusion in my spare time! Hooray!

This was a big fat mistake. I only noticed because when the Find/Replace function was done, it reported it had made nearly two hundred changes in the file, even though Ted/Jake is barely mentioned twenty times. That's weird, I'm thinking... but it turns out that anytime someone shouted in the story, they'd now done something called a shoujake, which sounds Japanese, right?

"Watch out!" Cam shoujake.

Great. So I hit Undo and proceeded to make those changes manually. The computer is *not* smarter than you are. :)

Labels: I miss WordPerfect

Apparently the first guy is just a lip-synching Milli Vanilli with a huge following on YouTube, so his cover version has become the more popular one. My understanding is that he used the song with permission, and, admittedly, he does a fun job with his face-making and Ryan Seacrest good looks.

The original is better. These guys are called Moosebutter, and, for my money, their sight gags and four-way interaction are far, far superior. Not to mention the fashion statement. Feast! Feast your eyes!

Labels: Moosebutter, Star Wars, the original kickass music video, YouTube

We should hang out.

Labels: kickass music video, Star Wars, YouTube

This week I went into a cutting edge super cool music/movie shop where they buy, sell, and trade everything digital and analog, even LPs. You know what an LP is, right? I brought in some old kids' movies we've outgrown with the intent of walking out with DVDs of DUMBO and Volume III of the original, animated SPEED RACER series.

The guy behind the buyer's counter was buried in porn. I found the situation hilarious. Here I am with my old Sesame Street videos and he's got a hundred pounds of classy films with titles like GANGBANGERS OF NEW YORK and YOUNG, BLONDE & NAKED. I'm not kidding. He had a five-foot-tall pile of this stuff. I had to ask. Apparently some dude brought in his lifelong collection of porno and sold it for grocery money.

The economy is in the toilet, people.

Labels: Pornography, Sesame Street, The Economy

Could I possibly *be* any more 21st Century?

Here is a YouTube video of the first introduction I did this summer for Starship Sofa for "The Frozen Sky," talking about the story's origin, its characters, and so forth. Let me know what you think!

Labels: Starship Sofa, The Frozen Sky, YouTube

The mind-crogglingly awesome crew over at Starship Sofa has just released another story of mine as a free podcast. The smooth-voiced Amy H. Sturgis, who was in perfect pitch last summer for “The Frozen Sky,” returns as the narrator of “Long Eyes.” For me, listening to it is an odd experience. This sounds like a story I’ve never heard before. Her delivery is rich and calm and evocative.

The story starts at about the 30 minute mark into their podcast. Highly recommended.

Labels: Long Eyes, podcast, StarShipSofa, The Frozen Sky