Ketchup

In the past few years, I've taken to giving bogus names when I sign up online or through automated systems for trivial stuff like web sites, DVD clubs, and so forth. I figure my real name has been dumped into too many junk mail lists as it is, right? It gives me a small thrill to stick it to The Machine.

Occasionally, though, this does lead to some awkwardness. Today I called the Disney Movie Club to cancel our membership. We'd gotten the six free DVDs, bought the four more necessary to our contract, and I don't need any more amazing offers or colorful crap in the mail. So I called up and fended my way through the phone tree to a real, live person. "It's not you, it's me," I said. "I'd like to quit."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sir. Let me just make sure we've got the right account, okay?" he said.

We confirmed the membership number.

"And what is your name, sir?" he asked.

"Lightning McQueen."

The dude didn't even hesitate. Probably his brain had flown off to Maui somewhere around 11am this morning. "Yes, sir, Mr. McQueen. Thank you for your membership with the Disney Movie Club. Did I tell you that we're having a special offer today. If you buy 101 Dalmations, there's a free poster."

"No, thanks. I'm good."

"Well thank you again, Mr. McQueen. Have a nice day."

"Yep." Hee hee.

Labels: Revolution Now, Sticking It To The Machine