Sunday, July 19, 2009
The Road
No, this isn't a post about Cormac McCarthy! It's a post about idiots-on-wheels. In fact, I may make this a regular affair. Who else has a scary or fun story? Why are so many people so numb and dumb behind the wheel?
Two days ago I was driving through a calm residential area behind a Subaru wagon with two more cars behind me. We were doing 30. The road was essentially four lanes wide -- one lane of parking on each side, mostly empty, plus one lane in each direction in the middle. We were passing through a big park with tennis and basketball courts on my left and a community pool on the right.
In front of me, the Subaru had had its left turn signal on for most of a block after we drove through an intersection. I wasn't sure what the driver was thinking. Then the Subaru went right toward the curb and slowed way down as if to park on that side. "Oh," I thought. "He doesn't know right from left. He's parking."
I began to pull by. Suddenly the Subaru's driver, a woman in a pink ball cap, threw her steering wheel all the way around and brought her vehicle broadside across my lane as she made a giant road-eating U-turn across all four lanes.
The parking on the righthand of the street was in the sun, you see. She had apparently intended all along to park on the far side of the street, in the shade, but didn't feel that she had the turn radius to make a U-turn from the lane in which we were all driving -- across a double yellow line, I might add. It's a park. Lots of pedestrians. The double yellow line is there because the city doesn't want drivers dodging pellmell in all directions. In fact, there was a big two-entry parking lot into which she could have driven in order to come back out going the other direction if she wanted. But that would be inconvenient, right? That was why she pulled over the right and braked. She was merely preparing for her massive U-turn across all lanes.
When she came sideways, I was less than twenty feet from the broadside of her Subaru. I stood on my brakes, squealing -- never a pleasant sound -- and came to a stop within ten feet of plowing into the kids she had in back. That's ten feet from where I was sitting inside my car; ten feet including the four feet of hood of our semi-large MDX.
I would've freaking mushed those kids.
Then the guy behind me skidded to a stop with his hood angling into the open righthand parking lane to avoid ramming me.
The lady in the Subaru never looked up. We were ten feet apart, nothing but her side window and my windshield between us, with the screech of my tires still echoing -- and she never glanced up. I think she was so focused on finding parking in the shade that she forgot there was anyone else on the road, and I wouldn't killed or crippled her kids except for some fancy footwork.
In her defense, yes, the left turn signal was on. But she went right to the curb and then braked. Is it just me, or would it have been the smart decision on her part to wait until the freaking roadway was clear before throwing her U-turn across traffic?
I have at least three other Boners On Wheels stories I'll share next. Tell me your own best!
Two days ago I was driving through a calm residential area behind a Subaru wagon with two more cars behind me. We were doing 30. The road was essentially four lanes wide -- one lane of parking on each side, mostly empty, plus one lane in each direction in the middle. We were passing through a big park with tennis and basketball courts on my left and a community pool on the right.
In front of me, the Subaru had had its left turn signal on for most of a block after we drove through an intersection. I wasn't sure what the driver was thinking. Then the Subaru went right toward the curb and slowed way down as if to park on that side. "Oh," I thought. "He doesn't know right from left. He's parking."
I began to pull by. Suddenly the Subaru's driver, a woman in a pink ball cap, threw her steering wheel all the way around and brought her vehicle broadside across my lane as she made a giant road-eating U-turn across all four lanes.
The parking on the righthand of the street was in the sun, you see. She had apparently intended all along to park on the far side of the street, in the shade, but didn't feel that she had the turn radius to make a U-turn from the lane in which we were all driving -- across a double yellow line, I might add. It's a park. Lots of pedestrians. The double yellow line is there because the city doesn't want drivers dodging pellmell in all directions. In fact, there was a big two-entry parking lot into which she could have driven in order to come back out going the other direction if she wanted. But that would be inconvenient, right? That was why she pulled over the right and braked. She was merely preparing for her massive U-turn across all lanes.
When she came sideways, I was less than twenty feet from the broadside of her Subaru. I stood on my brakes, squealing -- never a pleasant sound -- and came to a stop within ten feet of plowing into the kids she had in back. That's ten feet from where I was sitting inside my car; ten feet including the four feet of hood of our semi-large MDX.
I would've freaking mushed those kids.
Then the guy behind me skidded to a stop with his hood angling into the open righthand parking lane to avoid ramming me.
The lady in the Subaru never looked up. We were ten feet apart, nothing but her side window and my windshield between us, with the screech of my tires still echoing -- and she never glanced up. I think she was so focused on finding parking in the shade that she forgot there was anyone else on the road, and I wouldn't killed or crippled her kids except for some fancy footwork.
In her defense, yes, the left turn signal was on. But she went right to the curb and then braked. Is it just me, or would it have been the smart decision on her part to wait until the freaking roadway was clear before throwing her U-turn across traffic?
I have at least three other Boners On Wheels stories I'll share next. Tell me your own best!
Labels: Learn How To Drive, Moron
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